It wasn't the best month to have this show up - mainly because the holidays were a huge distraction for this particular experiment that was filmed this past summer. And yet, stuckness and resistance are what led me to this course on creativity in the first place so it doesn't feel right to not give these issues their due.
The projects for this month were ways to push through stuckness and its lurking ally: resistance. An art based project that showed how crafting an accordion pleated drawing that follows the meandering of a line from one page to the next and a movement exercise to get the body flowing. One exercise to gently prod the mind to let go and simply create and one exercise to get present in the body and find the internal sticky zones.
The notion that stuckness isn't just in our heads but lives in our bodies too - that is something I can get on board with. The movement exercises that Kelly introduced were great. A perfectly timed reminder to listen in to my body and continue to stay healthy.
As the year 2021 draws to an end, how can anyone right now not feel stuck? Whether or not I feel creative has a direct correlation to how depleted I feel after another year of a global pandemic. The shorter days, the colder weather, another COVID variant surge; holidays that make me melancholy - all of these experiences of December created a time that I gave myself some grace and slowed down. To breathe, to savor, to cry, and to see loved ones and bring happiness and joy to us all by the simple act of being together.
So "Being Stuck" and "Feeling Resistance" can be held in two different yet complimentary ways:
1) Digging into the implicit narratives - the emotional underbelly:
I understand what being stuck means to me - its a stagnant place, inert and hard to shake off. Homeostasis fed by doubts, stress, maybe even depression, and narratives that tell me to keep that blanket pulled over my head. Crafting new ways to pull out of that often takes a little more effort; and yet, once some momentum is gained, fresh air seems to swell and energy seems to return. Narratives around hope and curiosity and exploration find ground again.
Resistance is a bit different - another message from within- almost non-verbal but usually a soft whisper that represents that part of me that wants to keep me "safe." The whisper that wants to avoid ridicule or mocking or shaming. Sometimes the whisper wants to keep me invisible in order to avoid what it deems is potentially harmful. Yes, I'm talking about that loyal soldier again. And I KNOW where that old story comes from. It lives in the meme of "Being too much" or "not good enough." When I feel resistance - and it is usually fairly physical like a punch to the gut or a buzz in my ears - I also KNOW that I need to metabolize and process what is at the heart of the Resistance. I have the tools - dear friends who can listen into my fears and hold up that mirror for me to see myself as needed or simple ways to embrace my own self with love and compassion.
2) Digging into the positive impacts of acknowledging these sensations:
Being Stuck and Resistance aren't bad as spots that we find ourselves in. Both sensations give me information about what is happening under the surface of my lived life. If I'm physically exhausted - I need to find ways to rest. If I'm feeling vulnerable, I can pause and rethink why I am doing something the way I've chosen. Resistance in exercise is used to describe a way to push up against something and build a stronger muscle. So sometimes I feel my resistance as an indicator that I've hit a new learning edge. Can I lean in and learn more or is it time to reassess? Is my resistance an internal story about my competence or is it simply asking me to build a new habit or skill?
Both ways are facets of the same reflective process of awareness of what is coming up within my psyche and how I want to use what I find within my motivations (or lack thereof) to step forward on this path I am on. Its my path. How I cultivate my own loving compassion for the stuck or resistant parts of myself has the continued blessing of giving myself grace.
Takeaway: Using tangible ways to deal with "being stuck" through movement or art experimentation are worthwhile pathways for our brains to deal with resistance. Learning to use our awareness of what is below the surface of Resistance and Stuckness can help us assess what is needed to refill our reservoirs of curiosity and playfulness.
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