Experiment 2: Playfulness (aka: Stop Being So Serious)

 What does playfulness mean?

If you're chatting with a group of fabric artists and teachers - the answer has a lot to do with letting go. Expectations, demands, perfectionism, outcomes, agendas. Letting go of not allowing yourself to be spontaneous.

Let things flow... playful is a softening into... while serious is a tensive focus. Softening - being open, listening, being present, softening into the moment. Those are the teachers words and ways to define playfulness.

I think I'd add in - adaptive and open to possibility. Playful is holding everything lightly. Combine playful with attentive and I think we may have a 'mindful playfulness.'  Why would that matter? In my own opinion, I think it takes some conscious awareness to embody playfulness.  To... trust the playfulness as an invitation to play.

I know I am not alone with the old stories around how I am supposed to show up in the world. Proficient, competent, articulate, capable. Not make waves, not stand out and be hypervigilant to the needs of those around me.  Its taken many years to chip away at those stories and, to be honest, get out of my own way. That's a curious thing to write because what I needed to do was let go of what "the way" was. Its almost impossible not to formulate outcomes, futures, agendas - but getting curious has certainly helped.

I like how Kelly talked about playfulness as a light feeling inside. Its like a bubbly effervescence that draws in the light around me and melts away the ways in which I do not give myself permission to just ask 'what if'. What if I put those fabrics together and then stitch around them that way? What if I ditch that project because it doesn't speak to me right now? What if I don't give myself deadlines? What if I am playfully creating up until I realize I'm done?

These teachers also said "Let go of the story that you are so seriously committed to."  What would those stories be for me?  I feel the weight of that seriousness as a judgement. It is wrapped up in all the "shoulds" I whisper to myself all day long. 

And I've also released so many, many pieces of that serious story - so what am I still committed to? Where is my Otter and how does she need to play?

Okay, at this moment, Otter is alive and well because I'm in Hawaii snorkeling everyday. I LOVE being in the sea... diving down, swirling and twisting back up to the surface. Toes in the sand, warm air in my hair. What does Otter love? The colors of the sea, how the palm trees blow in the wind, the way that the flowers sit high on the branches... the fish in the ponds. Otter loves the warm air and the sea washing through her hair.

Accessing this spirit of play is easy on vacation. How can I access this at home?  I think of what Mary Oliver said - that the creative spirit needs to be courted and it needs to be shown that you want it in your life. That's a commitment - making a date every day perhaps to just court this inner beloved. That 'date' always feels a little contrived but perhaps the way to make this happen is to keep walking in the woods, keep my sketchbook handy and just trust that the creative spirit is humming though me all the time. I can let go of where those thoughts or snapped pictures of something that intrigues me or the sketch lead me. I'll just go along, ride the wave. Like an otter.

Key takeaway: Playfulness is a sense of not being attached to a particular outcome. Enjoying the effervescent moment and stop projecting what it will bring into the future. Court the creative spirit